Graduation Ceremony Goer Gifts

'Raining? Naw. I was running through a sprinkler.'

'Hmph. College kids.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Graduates on their phones

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

'You have failed on all counts...'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

'Those are the Divinity students.'

Day one, post grad

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

DACA

Upon graduation, all of the clowns would gather to find out where their assignments would be.

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

'But Marvin, you can't be a college graduate for a living!'

Canine Grammar. Getting a Master's. Shelter Adoptions. Getting masters.

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

Obedience School Graduation.

Graduating Zumba Cum Laude

"That's the problem today. Everyone expects the same old standardized answers."

'He's feeling very proud of himself. He went to watchdog school and graduated 'Magna cum loudly.''

"What does he know, and how long will he know it?"

"Dad, now can I be a fireman?"

Happy Graduation

I'm forgetting which college is which. Their brochures are all alike. University of. It's always fall or spring. Apply! There's always a multi-cultural group of kids hanging out. There's always a girl in goggles working in a science lab with an ethnic-looking prof. It's reassuring. They all celebrate their diversity in the exact same way! And charge the exact same for it!

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'