Graduating From Pharmacy School Gifts

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Dog forced to return bone

I need to set upmy own company.

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'What's holding him up?'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

En garde!

"Gross."

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

Department of Nanotechnology