Graduating Medical School Gifts

Dog forced to return bone

"You'll be discharged quickly after surgery and placed in our mobile recovery unit: a taxi home."

"...and how long have you had no feeling in your left foot?"

'I told you he wouldn't waste any time starting his practice.'

Urgent Care/Walk It Off

'It's a medical bill for $25,000 from Jimmy.'

"Over here, by the whatchanacalalit...somebody get the anatomy book."

Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"Oh. I know what that organ is! Wait, don't tell me."

"I understand memorizing sexually explicit mnemonics in college...but we don't say them in front of patients!"

"This is a teaching hospital."

'Let's see now...'

Surgery Instruction Book.

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'He earned his way through medical school working in a pizzeria!'

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

It's not catching, is it? - The doctor hates to catch things.

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'Sponge diving, Bob?'

Proctologist school....

'Notice how I stare at the forms like I'm actually reading them... and generally moving very slowly so I'm a little further behind schedule as the day progresses.'

"Let the healing begin!"

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'You really love medical college, eh?' (body parts tattooed on man's torso).

"Here, a white blood cell attacks invaders...I've just simplified the graphics."

Family doctor.

'Antibodies on the Go - An I-Can-Read Medical Book'

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

Anatomy.

Health Care is in Trouble