Medical School Graduation Gifts

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."

"Ok, let's go over this one more time, 'The Leg Bone's Connected To The. . .'"

Even medical students sometimes have to repeat a year.

'A little professionalism, people. When asking a patient to undress, we do not giggle.'

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'Picked one you like yet?'

"One of us is a placebo, Mr Jones..."

'I was such a good student that I skipped a year in medical school - but that's why I never learned about kidneys.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'Higgins, control yourself and sit down!'

"Good news Mr Pondexter! We found a kidney donor."

'So, if this procedure is 100% safe, why do I need to sign this waiver?!'

'Just another couple of pages.'

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'It might help if you were more cordial with your patients.' 'Dammit, Nurse -- I'm a doctor, not an actor!'

Man sees sign on hospital: 'Heart Surgeons Wanted' 'Immediate Openings'

"The hip bone's connected to the...' Once you start humming, it all comes back to you."

Endocrinology.

'A woman obsetrician! What do women know about that sort of thing?'

"And this one is the very first surgical procedure I ever performed."

"Spare us the gory details."

"Turn your head and cough."

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

'Actually, it's a quite routine operation -- would you like to make it more interesting?'

'So, using surgical anastomosis, the blood vessels are restructured one by one … oh, who are we kidding? There's not one of you in this room will ever be a microsurgeon!'

Gynecology pigeon hole

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

Anatomy.

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

"Your first operation? Mine too!"

Happy New Ear!

'Well, it didn't work, so now we'll try it your way.'