Med School Graduate Gifts

"I came up through the ranks."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Let's consider an early dive."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

Dog forced to return bone

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'What's holding him up?'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

En garde!

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"Gross."

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."