Medical Graduation Gifts

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"If you find anything else wrong, just go ahead and fix it."

'And HERE they are Ladies and Gentlemen! PUT YOUR hands together for Kenderwell Hospital's NEW BREED of Microsurgeon!'

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Big Bang Theory.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"Let's consider an early dive."

Dancing Doctor

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

Dog forced to return bone

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'What's holding him up?'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

En garde!