Graduating From Obedience School Gifts

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"Bad dog."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

Pet owner hanging Obedience School diploma

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Text!"

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

Cruel Pet Tricks

"House training's not so bad - you soon get used to it and, if you play your cards right, you'll get lots of treats."