Obedience School Instructor Gifts

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

Max reflects on what he might have become if only he didn't drop out of obedience school.

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Bad dog."

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

Agility God

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Zombie pet tricks.

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Jump Boy!God, your life must be dull.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

'The months of arduous training were worth it, she makes a decent martini.'

Balloon dog training

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'Mac, I told you last week a collar and a tag aren't enough - there's a leash law in this town.'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight, but my master's favourite command is "sit, sit, sit!" I barely ever get to exercise..."

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

"Does he need to be healed or heeled?"

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Text!"

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'