Grade Improver Gifts

"I made a new year's resolution to bring home a report card I could be proud of, but Stephanie Hart wouldn't give me hers."

"This is an improvement. You helped him study for his last test."

'Maybe I'd get better grades, Dad, if you came up with some kind of stimulus package.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Tool Box

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Conservation Area

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'Well, that's fixed that.'

The Day Dreamer.

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

I'm sorry Miss, but your artistic license has expired.

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

Man's best friend

"I see you got an A+++ in science."

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

Wall mountable TVs.

"Pooper-scoopers!"

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'