Government Relations Guru Gifts

F&E Submarine Contractors. When we ask the government for assistance, we should avoid calling it a "bailout."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"Nation-building never works."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Israel/Palestine Conflict

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

US and the EU

G7 Summit Concern

Trump Poutine

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"Nothing like a good shot of democracy to help fight terrorist cells."

Sybil Obama

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

Intolerable

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

"I propose legislation to simplify Brexit - the Americans are having a hard time following it."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."