Public Relations Guru Gifts

'Look, we just need to make a few simple decisions. For once, can we do it without an endless squabble over whether we should take the high road or fly under the radar?'

Mentoring (in politics)

"I was never famous, but then, I never had a publicist."

'He can't understand why, with 672 thousand, 200 friends on facebook, in the state, he didn't get enough votes to win the election.'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Hollywood Sign Developers

'How fast can you hype?'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"National security adviser"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Create some buzz!

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

Target your message

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"