Government Gossip Seeker Gifts

"We're in."

21st century water cooler conversations.

"National security adviser"

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

While you were out... the whole office talked about you.

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'Voodoo economics was bad enough, but this voodoo foreign policy....'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

'Take a letter,'

"I had half a date last weekend."

'Forget about me - what can you tell me about the new CEO coming on board?'

'Lessee... He's keepin' my ol' guy at Defense, he's got a corrupt warmonger at State, a tax cheat at Treasury, an' the old Marc Rich pardon guy at Justice.... Nope -- I couldn'ta done a better job myself!'

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

"He's still bitter that bottled water ruined his reign as king of the water cooler."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Nothing like some tea and symphony.'

Real Congressional reform's a must.....

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

A big announcement is coming at work.

When government regulations go too far.

"I hear he's getting six figures a year."

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

'As a career goal, I'd like to work in government, get the goods on someone, and write a tell-all book.'

CONGRESS, 'Okay, so you've been censured -- you've got to get right back in there and start legislating before you lose your nerve!'