Government Gag Appreciator Gifts

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

Mediterranean Martini

"...but, seriously..."

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

Odds 'n Ends/Odd 'n's

'The reason the cost of government is so high is that it takes hundreds of congressmen locked in a room to produce gridlock.'

"Is it working?"

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

Armadillo playing accordion.

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

"Have you got it in beige?"

"It's from my Swiss account."

'Free! Bonus! X-Ray Glasses!'

"It's the deep end."

IRS: 'Ours and Theirs.'

"Sorry. I'm molting."

'Oh gross, manure.'

A woman dips her feet into a pond.

"Oh my god! I'm not wearing clean underwear."

"Our perks and massively generous pensions don't sit comfortably with my conscience...sacrifices will have to be made!"

if we suspect a terrorist attack we're to invade the applethwaites at no 57

National Union of Contortionists: We vote with our feet

'It's one of those evenings when I just open a can.'

Civil & Uncivil Servants.

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

'I can't find the 'any' key...'

'Local council approved mugger. Beware of frauds.'

"Not exactly the kind of morale boosting I had in mind."

Black Widow's husband.

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it will never get through congress."

FEMA: 'You think he even knows it's empty?'