Gourmet Wizard T-Shirts

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

"Would you mind complimenting the chef before you leave, sir? He's been very depressed recently."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Lady of the Cake.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Domestic Goddess.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

La Table

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Needs salt!'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I come here for the pepper."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"