Gourmet Philosopher Gifts

Avocado Timeline

"Which entrée raises the fewest ethical issues?"

Culinary Exams

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Carpe pizza"

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"