Gourmet Pet Feeder Gifts

'I wish John would stop using that gourmet pet food that makes gravy when you add water.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"You keep impeccable time."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"She's eating in tonight."

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

'You realize you're spoiling Bilbo.'

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"Has someone forgotten the cucumber slice and lemon wedge in my spring water again, Edna?"

'Sometimes I think I spoil this dog'

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

'Look at this: We get the gourmet tins while Rex gets the generic dog food...'

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

'You've done it AGAIN,Doris- you've bought CAT food!!'

'The cat is finicky and he likes this flavor.'

'A good day! Two letters for me and a sample of 'Seafood Gourmet Delight' for you.'

"The service here is terrible."

'No more premium chow? She's not infactuated with me anymore!'

'I think you're eating my pup tarts.'

"Liverwurst?! Okay, let's try it again, speaking slowly this time. 'Fois. . . gras'."