Gourmet Mouse Adventurer T-Shirts

"It's not even artisanal."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Holiday Supplies

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

I wish I'd had the review.

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."