Gothic Fan Pillows

'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'

Trilby - 'A happy dinner'.

Vampire practical jokes.

Dracula gets bitten by a mosquito

Drunk Vampire

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

'My teeth are fine, but I think you'll find that your nurse has a couple of cavities in her neck.'

Hi. My name is Vlad . I'm not an alcoholic, but Ido have a drinking problem .

"How come you look SO young for your age...?"

"So which is your star sign, big boy?"

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Giant Monster in Bath

Trilby - Finis

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

The Raven in Flight

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'You've got those 'take-me-to-bed' eye sockets!'

Beware of the Cat.

"Relax - he's just here for the romance."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

Trilby - 'Ca fera une fameuse crapule de moins'

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

'You complete me.'

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'