Gossipy Friend Gifts

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

Backfire

'She's so put together!'

A little bird told me...

Bangers and Mash

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

JET (Part I)

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"The difference between us and them is...they can be reproduced by unskilled labour."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

Stable boys and Scottsman

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"He'll see you now, but I should warn you � he secretly despises you."