Gossip Dynamics Gifts

"When you have a minute, there's a fire we'd like you to throw some fuel on."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'She's so put together!'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"Whine and cheezed party."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Botox."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

Weditorials

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

'Botox...'

18 Days Since the Last Embarrassing Off-Field Incident.

The Original Gossip Columns

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."