Gossip Dynamics Pillows

"When you have a minute, there's a fire we'd like you to throw some fuel on."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'She's so put together!'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"Whine and cheezed party."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Botox."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

'I wish there was some way we could reduce emissions here.'

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

'Botox...'

Weditorials

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

18 Days Since the Last Embarrassing Off-Field Incident.

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

The Original Gossip Columns

"Legs up to here!"

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'