Gospel Guppies Pillows

'Oh no, quick! Turn off the lights... Pretend we're not home!'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

Father

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

Little Richard

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

'It helps with reception.'

"Oooh! What's he gonna do now?!"

Walking on Water

Thomas Dorsey.

"The only spells she does anymore are the Gospels."

School of Fish

The First Supper

'Big Issue!'

Jesus Seals the Hick...

"Yeah, he changed water into wine but it was nothing you'd want to lay down."

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

"I can only tell you what's in your future - it's up to you to chase it."

"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."

Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"Wine?! Laddie, he'll have my attention when he can change water into Scotch!"

'You called for tech support?'

"Be still and know that I am cod."

'Here's the story of the sermon on the mount.'

"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."

I love Tropical Fish

Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Why do dogs have to bark all the time? It's arf for arf's sake!

"Honk if you know Jesus."

"No, a question period will not follow!"

Dogma

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'