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100 best beheadings

Sauce for the Goose

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'At last they're waving us through - Away you go George.'

Glasnost

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

Over the years Dr Litmus had developed a very strong stomach - Reading anatomy book while eating breakfast

'Any gunslingers in your family? You're certainly 'Quick on the draw'.'

"Honey, did you call for a free estimate on a 3 bedroom, 2 bath tree house?"

Directions for walker across several hills.

Goalkeeper with a brush leaps around his goalnet which is covered in cobwebs and spiders.

'Face it -- you'll NEVER catch up to Lady Godiva's approval rating.'

"I would have made the gore sickening in a different way."

"I understand the special effects on this one are pretty realistic!"

'Then, after adding the eye of newt, allow to simmer for twenty f*****g minutes.'

"Quoth."

"Some trainees find the post-mortem an eviscerating experience but you'll get used to it."

"Another Quentin Tarrantino production"

'Early Toupees'.

Hitchhiking Snowman.

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

Elizabeth I says: 'You've named one of the American colonies after me? I can't wait to visit Betty!'

'Didn't I tell you it would be a mistake to allow mixed competition?'

"I think I have just the house for you, Mr. Usher."

"Hey, no way!"

'Strike three!'