Gore Fan Pillows

100 best beheadings

Sauce for the Goose

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'At last they're waving us through - Away you go George.'

Glasnost

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

Over the years Dr Litmus had developed a very strong stomach - Reading anatomy book while eating breakfast

'Any gunslingers in your family? You're certainly 'Quick on the draw'.'

"Honey, did you call for a free estimate on a 3 bedroom, 2 bath tree house?"

Directions for walker across several hills.

Goalkeeper with a brush leaps around his goalnet which is covered in cobwebs and spiders.

'Face it -- you'll NEVER catch up to Lady Godiva's approval rating.'

"I would have made the gore sickening in a different way."

"I understand the special effects on this one are pretty realistic!"

'Then, after adding the eye of newt, allow to simmer for twenty f*****g minutes.'

"Quoth."

"Some trainees find the post-mortem an eviscerating experience but you'll get used to it."

"Another Quentin Tarrantino production"

'Early Toupees'.

Hitchhiking Snowman.

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

Elizabeth I says: 'You've named one of the American colonies after me? I can't wait to visit Betty!'

'Didn't I tell you it would be a mistake to allow mixed competition?'

"I think I have just the house for you, Mr. Usher."

"Hey, no way!"

'Strike three!'