Gore Fan Mugs

100 best beheadings

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Sauce for the Goose

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'At last they're waving us through - Away you go George.'

Glasnost

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Have you seen my iPhone? No. You lost it? I may have misplaced it. Big deal. You hate it. It'll turn up. Exactly, I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I especially hate the Scrabble app and I absolutely can't wait to find the phone so I can mock it further! Help: I love my iPhone. Oh dear. Trouble brewing. To be continued ...

'We've decided it might be better to show your televised operation after the 9 o'clock watershed...'

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

'Any gunslingers in your family? You're certainly 'Quick on the draw'.'

Over the years Dr Litmus had developed a very strong stomach - Reading anatomy book while eating breakfast

'Then, after adding the eye of newt, allow to simmer for twenty f*****g minutes.'

Goalkeeper with a brush leaps around his goalnet which is covered in cobwebs and spiders.

"I would have made the gore sickening in a different way."

"I understand the special effects on this one are pretty realistic!"

Directions for walker across several hills.

"Honey, did you call for a free estimate on a 3 bedroom, 2 bath tree house?"

'Face it -- you'll NEVER catch up to Lady Godiva's approval rating.'

"Quoth."

"Some trainees find the post-mortem an eviscerating experience but you'll get used to it."

Hitchhiking Snowman.

'Early Toupees'.

"Oi! Whose side are you on, ref?"

"Another Quentin Tarrantino production"

Hooooooooooooonk. Woo-hoo! He saw us!

Elizabeth I says: 'You've named one of the American colonies after me? I can't wait to visit Betty!'

'Strike three!'

'Didn't I tell you it would be a mistake to allow mixed competition?'

Of course she's thin - she eats like a pterodactyl.

"Hey, no way!"