Goodbye Dramatist Gifts

Woman on train with megaphone, "Oh Geoffrey I do so hate these long goodbyes!"

Jean-Paul Sartre

Southwark Fair.

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Comedy and tragedy masks

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

Henrik Ibsen,

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Eugene Ionesco

James Barrie.

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

The Modern Godot

John Masefield.

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

Samuel Beckett

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

Oscar Wilde

Henrik Ibsen

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'