Domestic Dramalist Gifts

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

Southwark Fair.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Comedy and tragedy masks

A man taking a bow

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

The Perfect Foil

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"I'd like you to be the co-star in the melodrama that is life."

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Look Chaucer, there goes that rotten plagiarist Shakespeare again!'

The Modern Godot

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

Samuel Beckett

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

Eugene Ionesco

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

James Barrie.

Performance In The Bedroom

John Masefield.

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

An opera singer

Oscar Wilde

Henrik Ibsen