Good Samaritan Fan Gifts

'He'd fall over backwards to help anybody.'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"Nuts to you, too."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Baby squirrel & Berries

Decapitated coffee.

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

"It's unusual to see them reading this time of year."

"Depending on my mood, I go to a different part of the house: Master listens to jazz, Mistress to classical and Young Master to rock and roll..."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Base jumper in squirrel suit sees splat shadow as he leaps from canyon wall.

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

Elvis Purresley impersonators.

Farmyard Sinatra - "Start spreadin'...Manure

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

Fuzz - The audience outnumbers the band.

"That's ridiculous. I do not have a superiority complex."

'If you think using a stick is evolutionary, wait till you try one these dipped in chocolate.'

"The scientists are coming back to study us, so I want you both to be on your best behaviour this time!"

At Graceland everything has been left the same as the day Elvis died.

"All you ever want to do is go to the Hop."

"Back away from the squirrel!"