Good Samaritan Fan Pillows

'He'd fall over backwards to help anybody.'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"Nuts to you, too."

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Baby squirrel & Berries

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Decapitated coffee.

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

"Depending on my mood, I go to a different part of the house: Master listens to jazz, Mistress to classical and Young Master to rock and roll..."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"It's unusual to see them reading this time of year."

Base jumper in squirrel suit sees splat shadow as he leaps from canyon wall.

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

A 1950's Barber Shop

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

Fuzz - The audience outnumbers the band.

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

"That's ridiculous. I do not have a superiority complex."

"The scientists are coming back to study us, so I want you both to be on your best behaviour this time!"

'If you think using a stick is evolutionary, wait till you try one these dipped in chocolate.'

"All you ever want to do is go to the Hop."

"Back away from the squirrel!"

"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."