Golfing Jokester Gifts

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

'it wasn't a trap when he first started trying to hit the ball!'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

'Hole in one!!!!'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"