Golf Widow Humorist Gifts

'Your future husband will golf 7 days a week, 9 months out of the year. Since this is bad news, I won't charge you.'

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'Hole in one!!!!'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

Mulligan's first mulligan.

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

"It's not sediment, it's my late husband's ashes - he always said he wouldn't mind being drunk when he died."

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

Meditating on a 4th for golf!