Golf Widow Humorist Pillows

'Your future husband will golf 7 days a week, 9 months out of the year. Since this is bad news, I won't charge you.'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

"It's not sediment, it's my late husband's ashes - he always said he wouldn't mind being drunk when he died."

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Mulligan's first mulligan.

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'