Golf Mishap Humorist Gifts

'Thanks to everyone who golfed in my golfing outing...even the guys who beat me for hitting into them without yelling four.'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Hole in one!!!!'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

Jurassic Par.