Goldie Lover Pillows

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Here be dragons.

Lady of the bath...

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

"I miss the Augean stables."

"Oh, this? Crazy story..."

Myths and legends...

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

Bigfoot tracks...

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

'You pulled a sword out of a stone and they made you King? -- is that constitutional?'

Scotsman in the bath...

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

"It's harder to 'lead from the middle' than I thought."

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'It's a bit demoralising when the Sheriff can claim it all back on expenses.'

"We received another message from that scoundrel Robin Hood, sire!"

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

William Tell's Other Four Children

Grumpy old merry men.

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.