Golden Years Relaxation Gifts

"I told you they'd chuck us off the bus with those smelly egg butties."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Before pagers,mobile phones and the internet.

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

Dun spellchecking.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

Life begins at 60

Bad times for retirees.

Assisted Living.

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us - he's AROUND the hill.'

"Don't make me take a knee, Nancy - I may never get back up."

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

Pension Forecasts

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

'Saturdays in paradise.'

'You're in your nineties and still fancy women?' - 'Early nineties.'

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

'My husband has retired from the bench.'