Golden Years Relaxation Gifts

"I told you they'd chuck us off the bus with those smelly egg butties."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

Handle With Care

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Before pagers,mobile phones and the internet.

Aging Support Group

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

Dun spellchecking.

"Well, old girl, this is the third act. What, if anything, do we have up our sleeve?"

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

Life begins at 60

Bad times for retirees.

Assisted Living.

James Bond Getting Old and Playing

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

Old man in rocking chair playing golf

"Don't make me take a knee, Nancy - I may never get back up."

Pension Forecasts

'Ferguson's not like the rest of us - he's AROUND the hill.'

'I outsourced toymaking and delivery, fired the elves and moved my headquarters here to the Cayman Islands.'

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

'My husband has retired from the bench.'

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

'Saturdays in paradise.'

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'