Enjoying Golden Years Gifts

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Diego Velasquez

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"I'm not worrying. I've got most of my money in handbaskets."

"I'm so old I can't remember who's the smart one and who's the pretty one."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

'She's determined to grow old gracefully.'

Life begins at 60

Bad times for retirees.

Assisted Living.

Pension Forecasts

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

"Face it, darling - you've reached that 'funny age...'"

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

"There's more to being a pensions adviser than just handling the figures..."

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

Celebrating National No Bra Day

"I hope I can still move like that when I'm her age."

"I told you they'd chuck us off the bus with those smelly egg butties."

"What the hell - a second adolescence is better than a second childhood."

Another Programme Reminding You How Much Better Music Used To Be.

'The last time he jogged past the cemetery, the gravediggers tried to bury him'

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

'Lost youth, next window down.'

"To assume Leonard has a bucket list, you have to first assume he actually wants to do anything."

'The sixties? Well, you don't sleep as well, can't read anything closer than three feet away and your short-term memory's shot.'