Golden Laughter Seekers Pillows

"Do you know what I like about you, Rachel? You're old, like me."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"That'll be five bucks."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"OMG, LOL!"

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"What did Jesus order?"

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Bald Man Overcomb

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Football heads...

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"Will you stop comparing me to your mum!"

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Well, that was a total waste of time!

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'