Golden Laughter Seekers Gifts

"Do you know what I like about you, Rachel? You're old, like me."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"That'll be five bucks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"OMG, LOL!"

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

"Projectile hairballing."

"What did Jesus order?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

Drunk Barber

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Bald Man Overcomb

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Football heads...

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

Ask Sadie

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

"Will you stop comparing me to your mum!"

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Well, that was a total waste of time!

Break Glass in Case of Fire: Tiny Firemen.