Gold Medalist Giggler Gifts

"Fancy biting your gold medal just because a photographer told you to."

Clown God

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

'I'm sorry for laughing Emperor Dorkbutt, it's just that in our language, well...'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"Next time your virtual fish dies, please don't try flushing your computer down the toilet."

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

'Millions of billions of trillions of light years away? I could visualise it if you said it in MILES!'

Black Hole Corks

'Whoops!'

"Oh, oh - looks like a blue shift."

Astronaut with his Space Dog.

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

Tred carefully mill.

"It's bad news I'm afraid...we've lost his web site!"

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

The Big A** Theory

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

"After analyzing the energy waves emitted by this pulsar near Andromeda, I believe we have an answer to the age old question: 'Where do jokes come from?'"

"On what planet do you imagine this would be funny?"