Gold Medalist Gifts

Champions biting their medals

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

Interview.

The Romantic - Heart shaped medals

Medalist wears five gold medals to form olympic rings.

Remedy for the incurable romantic...

The weight of winning gold.

'Of course, they're healthy - they listen to me far better than my patients do.'

'Once upon a time...'

Man talking to a tree.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Daley Thompson

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

Recreational and Medicinal Wines

'This is exhausting, I quit.'

"I had a dog but got rid of him when it became clear that he wasn't going to get a job."

"What's next?"

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

"Fancy biting your gold medal just because a photographer told you to."

"That was a good two weeks of watching America dominate the Olympics and not seeing anything else on TV."

Modern Parenting Olympic Scoring System

'Human beings get all the breaks -- just TRY to get Medicare to pay for a tree surgeon!'

"Don't worry, Mom. My mind will bounce back in September."

'Dropping From A Height In A Vacuum event.'

'Couldn't you just give out gold stars like the other teachers, Miss Price?'

'They may own the podium, but it appears to be in a low rent district.'

'I slept, woke up, slept, woke up, slept...is that multitasking?'

Levelling up event - All equal on sports podium

"Ironically, he's being used to create 'save our forest' pamphlets."

"That's the last of the couch potatoes. We should get that thing cleaned."

"Just between you and me...when a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it still makes a sound."

A military man dreams of medals dropping like bombs.

"He had to deliver an urgent memo."