Gold Medal Dreamers Gifts

The weight of winning gold.

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Olympic Climate

Medalist wears five gold medals to form olympic rings.

Lionel Messi

"And to think he started in accounting."

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

Wake us up when the Olympics are over...

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

'Son, there's more to life than dunking, There's also making big money from ads, like Yao Ming'

'...all been inspired by the Olympics...now touch those toes...touch those...'

Jack Russell fails to make the cut for a basketball team.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A MEGALOMANIAC TO WORK HERE, BUT IT SURE DOES HELP!

"It keeps us fit at a safe social distance."

"Sure - you could move to Florida - but, then, you wouldn't have the wonderful change of seasons.."

"I'm a mad scientist who developed a weapon to rule the world, but I don't do the crazy 'moohaha' laugh because I'm afraid of being discovered and beaten up by a superhero."

I love the optimism on new year's day! Yeah, breaking the seal on a new year is link unpacking a new gadget. It's all shiny and it seems like in some way, big or small, your life is going to get better

Paris Olympics

'Hey, we can't ALL be King!'

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

"What's next?"

Here are some things we'd see at the upcoming 2021 summer Olympics if Ernie was in charge. Long jump records being shattered thanks to the new shark tank! Parents who have managed both work and child education from home during the pandemic are in the balance beam event. Distance running features healthcare workers. They've been in a marathon, not a sprint, and have showed incredible endurance. No the pole vault is not a secure place where we store poles.

Lottery Here. Don't you know the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math? Yes, but we're hoping for a huge tax refund.

"The worst thing about getting shorter is you can't get those rebounds any more."

One man's food coma is another man's imaginary game-wining catch.

Celebrity anagrams: I'm a rock child me (Answer: Charlie Dimmock)

I love gymnastics

Man Carrying Olympic Torch Stops For Smoke Break

'Dropping From A Height In A Vacuum event.'

'I need a sick note to cover me for the London Olympics.'

A new "U" vending machine

"Would it have killed him to put in a basketball hoop?!"

Covid Secure Olympics