Gold Digger's Humor Gifts

"Gee Hank, you've found comedy gold."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"

"I'm here to gets the gold"

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"He's very well off. He's got all the quantities I admire."

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

'We seem to have more money for little luxuries since Timothy started working from home.'

Georgius Agricola: "My interest in gold was enhanced.greatly...help me as I go prospecting in the wilds."

'You're too heavy on metals and too light on equities.'

How to find gold.

Oil Workers

'It's mine ... all mine! Wonder if there's enough to pay off my student loans.'

"Curly-Bill! Git over here... nuggets as big as yer corns!"

'And I'm pleased to report that your gold futures are panning out.'

'Oh yes, it was definitely love at first sight. From the moment I set eyes on his credit rating.'

Prospector with geology diploma

'In other news, gold is headed higher, according to some fool who's put every last dollar into gold stocks and futures.'

'I'd like a joint account with a millionaire please.'

'Unfortunately this lab is funded only by as much gold as we can make from lead.'

"Of course I hope to find gold. But my real goal is spiritual growth and inner peace."

"George, there's a man here who wants to lease our backyard."

Metal detector finds another metal detector.

"What's the best machine to use to meet hot chicks?"

"He's my service animal."

"Burger King bought a Canadian donut chain and relocated its headquarters to Canada to skip U.S. taxes."

'And thanks for being such a rock.'

'I don't only love you because your father left you a million pounds. I'd still love you whoever left it to you. . .'

Some old men are filthy with money or without money.