Gold-digger Laughs Gifts

'She's flat broke hoping to become flat rich!'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

'You were right, you are in the placebo group.'

"Whadya know, we're being audited."

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

Put it in petty cash.

"I'm here to gets the gold"

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

"He's very well off. He's got all the quantities I admire."

Eternal Battle of Man vs Fish

'I am smiling.'

Georgius Agricola: "My interest in gold was enhanced.greatly...help me as I go prospecting in the wilds."

'You're too heavy on metals and too light on equities.'

'We seem to have more money for little luxuries since Timothy started working from home.'

How to find gold.

"...These are chicken nuggets."

'Stocks and bonds dropped...on news that 'all that glitters is not gold'.'

Medieval Tabloid. The royal spokesman said everything King Midas touches turns to gold. Gilt by association!

"Curly-Bill! Git over here... nuggets as big as yer corns!"

'It's mine ... all mine! Wonder if there's enough to pay off my student loans.'

"Gee Hank, you've found comedy gold."

'And I'm pleased to report that your gold futures are panning out.'

'I didn't ask you to help me when it was $90 an ounce, and I didn't ask you to help me when it was $110 an ounce. But when it's $400 an ounce...'

Businessman with the goose that laid golden eggs

'HA-HAR! GOLD, GOLD! AND IT'S MINE, ALL MINE!'

"Looking for gold?"

'For you I suggest a retirement plan consisting of bonds, CDs, IRAs, and marrying rich.'

I.R.S spying on a gold prospector.

"Fossil, shmossil - we want gold."