Gold Digger Humorist Gifts

'I'd like a joint account with a millionaire please.'

"He's very well off. He's got all the quantities I admire."

'My Mister Right has to be a winner - Lottery preferably!'

'And thanks for being such a rock.'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

"It looks like it's an eye bank."

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"

"I'm here to gets the gold"

Put it in petty cash.

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

'You're too heavy on metals and too light on equities.'

Georgius Agricola: "My interest in gold was enhanced.greatly...help me as I go prospecting in the wilds."

'We seem to have more money for little luxuries since Timothy started working from home.'

How to find gold.

Oil Workers

Medieval Tabloid. The royal spokesman said everything King Midas touches turns to gold. Gilt by association!

"Gee Hank, you've found comedy gold."

"Curly-Bill! Git over here... nuggets as big as yer corns!"

'And I'm pleased to report that your gold futures are panning out.'

'It's mine ... all mine! Wonder if there's enough to pay off my student loans.'

'In other news, gold is headed higher, according to some fool who's put every last dollar into gold stocks and futures.'

'Oh yes, it was definitely love at first sight. From the moment I set eyes on his credit rating.'

Taxman takes money from Man doing up a house

"That's your explanation - Russian hackers?"

'Unfortunately this lab is funded only by as much gold as we can make from lead.'

"Of course I hope to find gold. But my real goal is spiritual growth and inner peace."

'I don't only love you because your father left you a million pounds. I'd still love you whoever left it to you. . .'

"George, there's a man here who wants to lease our backyard."

"Burger King bought a Canadian donut chain and relocated its headquarters to Canada to skip U.S. taxes."