Gold Digger Humorist Pillows

'I'd like a joint account with a millionaire please.'

"He's very well off. He's got all the quantities I admire."

'My Mister Right has to be a winner - Lottery preferably!'

'And thanks for being such a rock.'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

'We're getting closer - That's a goldfish.'

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"I'm here to gets the gold"

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

"I don't know how to tell you this, Honey, so I'm going to come right out and say it. ... Your goldfish ran away."

'You're too heavy on metals and too light on equities.'

'We seem to have more money for little luxuries since Timothy started working from home.'

Georgius Agricola: "My interest in gold was enhanced.greatly...help me as I go prospecting in the wilds."

How to find gold.

Oil Workers

"Curly-Bill! Git over here... nuggets as big as yer corns!"

'And I'm pleased to report that your gold futures are panning out.'

'It's mine ... all mine! Wonder if there's enough to pay off my student loans.'

"Gee Hank, you've found comedy gold."

'In other news, gold is headed higher, according to some fool who's put every last dollar into gold stocks and futures.'

Taxman takes money from Man doing up a house

'Oh yes, it was definitely love at first sight. From the moment I set eyes on his credit rating.'

"That's your explanation - Russian hackers?"

'Unfortunately this lab is funded only by as much gold as we can make from lead.'

"Of course I hope to find gold. But my real goal is spiritual growth and inner peace."

"George, there's a man here who wants to lease our backyard."

Some old men are filthy with money or without money.

"Burger King bought a Canadian donut chain and relocated its headquarters to Canada to skip U.S. taxes."

"What's the best machine to use to meet hot chicks?"

'I don't only love you because your father left you a million pounds. I'd still love you whoever left it to you. . .'

Man drowned by gold.