Goal Dodger Pillows

'I like to take one day at a time.' - 'Trouble is you're three weeks behind.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Go! Means NOW!

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

'I think I've scored.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

'Success in business door' - keep your finger on the button doorbell.

Hear me, Graduates!

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

Kicking The Habit

'So, who's first?'

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'