Lego Dodger Pillows

"Tonight's homework...scatter some Legos on the floor, turn out the lights and try to make it across the room."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Nun Binning the Devil

Private Viewing

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

The Demon's Disguise

Revenuers will be shot.

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

Drones Unlimited

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

'I thought it was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

"Be careful with your third wish. Another book you might already have read would be a bummer."

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

'I think I'm going to have to hide the bathroom scale from your mother.'

Leaking Art

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Winter depression.

"You're the therapist - you make it go away."

'I like to take one day at a time.' - 'Trouble is you're three weeks behind.'

'I don't want to read 'Great Books'. Too much pressure.'

'That was a test of our school's emergency broadcasting system. If this were a real emergency, you would have been asked not to talk to reporters.'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."