Lego Dodger Pillows

"Tonight's homework...scatter some Legos on the floor, turn out the lights and try to make it across the room."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Private Viewing

Nun Binning the Devil

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

The Demon's Disguise

Revenuers will be shot.

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

Drones Unlimited

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

'I think I'm going to have to hide the bathroom scale from your mother.'

Winter depression.

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

'I thought it was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Leaking Art

"Be careful with your third wish. Another book you might already have read would be a bummer."

"You're the therapist - you make it go away."

'I like to take one day at a time.' - 'Trouble is you're three weeks behind.'

'I don't want to read 'Great Books'. Too much pressure.'

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."