Diy Dodger Pillows

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Private Viewing

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Sleeping through new year celebrations

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

We have enough money to build it, but nothing left for furniture. Never start something you can't furnish!

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"Can't you rake the leaves? I'm raking in cash."

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

"Do you have a moment to be late for something you just made up?"

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Walk right in. Sit right down.

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

Leaking Art