Device Dodger Pillows

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

Trying to come up with yet another password...

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

"Do you mind? Look what you made me do!"

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

Never Ask A Man To Change The Baby.

"Are you listening to me?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

'Cheer up, Mr. Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

Drones Unlimited

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

Winter depression.

"There! That looks better."

'I think I'm going to have to hide the bathroom scale from your mother.'

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."

'Forget the water, give me some golf clubs. I haven't swung a club in days.'

'Phone-b-gone, gets rid of unwanted phones.'

"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

'Quick Stephen Fry's not on.'

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

'That was a test of our school's emergency broadcasting system. If this were a real emergency, you would have been asked not to talk to reporters.'