System Dodger Pillows

'I've always gotten pleasure cheating on my income tax, but the creme de la creme is cheating via electronic filing.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Mary had a little spam

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

Trying to come up with yet another password...

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

Spiro & Pusho watching TV whilst on a hike.

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

"Do you have a moment to be late for something you just made up?"

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

Walk right in. Sit right down.

"There! That looks better."

Winter depression.

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"This is my exercise routine, and this is my routine to avoid that exercise routine."

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

'I think I'm going to have to hide the bathroom scale from your mother.'

Stationary Bike $349.95. Heck, I've got a stationary car I'll sell cheaper than that!

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

"I refuse to read the safety manual. Last time I tried, it gave me a severe papercut!"

'Good report Bob but it's not quite there yet.' And neither was Bob.

'It's so easy, I actually did it!'